Episode 1: You See A Familiar Face

Episode 1

 

[theme music plays]

MEGHAN:

Welcome to Quest Laid Plans, a D&D podcast that asks the question, "can an old party learn new tricks?"

 

I am your dungeonmaster, Meghan Kelleher, and with me is an incredible party of heroes who are going to introduce themselves now.

NEDA:

I'm Neda Marie Valcheva, my pronouns are they/them. I'm a dice person who rolls dice and learns tricks and is excited for this, hello.

PHIL:

Hi, I'm Phil Arevalo. My pronouns are he/him. I'm here because this is going to be a really fun time and I'm super excited.

MAYA:

Hi, I'm Maya Ming, my pronouns are she/her, and I'm here because Meghan invited me despite my imposter syndrome.

MEGHAN:

Wait a minute, you have imposter syndrome? Get the fuck out of here.

MAYA:

[gasps] Wait... I've been found out! [laughs]

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

I am Jamie Hathaway, my pronouns are they/them, and I am here with forty-one dogs! They're all on the podcast.

NEDA:

In the room with you?!

JAMIE:

In the room with me! Forty-one dogs. They're being VERY quiet right now. They're-- they're outside.

 

[laughter]

JESSE:

My name is Jesse B. Koehler, my pronouns are he/him, and I... am present. You're welcome.

NEDA:

The artist is present.

MEGHAN:

And uh... My pronouns are she/her, and I'm a Pisces. Let's get going!

 

[ominous music]

MEGHAN:

Dear listener, the world as you and I know it is ending. But don't worry, it's coming back! And it's gonna have magic.

 

[glowing ambient music]

MEGHAN:

At the time of our story, it has now been a little over 300 years since our world was brought to its knees by unchecked corruption and greed, and it was decided by the astral powers that be that any species who could knowingly do that to their own home might not deserve a home at all. But a benevolent pantheon of five gods intervened, insisting that the mistakes of a select few should not override the good acts and intentions of the many, and that this species should be given a second chance with slightly different conditions. The Penteon, as these gods were called, consisted of five enormous silvery-white animal spirits:Anamnesis, the elephant, god of that which was; Affirmation, the bear, god of that which is; Aspiration, the butterfly, god of that which could be; Axiom, the owl, god of that which ought to be; and Admonition, the two-horned horse, god of that which must never be.

 

The Penteon believed that humanity should not be measured by what it did at its worst, but what it imagined at its best: myths and tales of heroism, of community, of magic, permeated every culture and every era of human history. Surely humans were desperate for something more than the mundane truths of reality? And if this was the case, then why punish them for failing when they didn't have every tool in the box? And so commenced the Great Waking, the rebirth of humanity and so much more. Entire species rose fully evolved with culture and language of their very own: elves, goblins, sentient animals, the likes of which had only existed in the pages of books and the words of legends. Of course, magic, like math or science or art, is a mystery that is unfolded through time. People ask questions and then the next generation questions those questions until our collective understanding expands to more than the sum of its parts. It has been 322 years since the Great Waking. There's still much we don't know about magic and the landscape of our new world, and even more we're trying to remember about the world of before. But just as in those great tales that have always inspired us, the vanguard of these discoveries is led by ordinary people who become heroes when the world needs them most.

 

[music fades]

NEDA:

[whispered] Woooo!

MEGHAN:

Did you just boo me?

NEDA:

No, I was woo-ing!

MAYA:

It was a crowd cheer.

JESSE:

"That sucks! That's total trash!"

MAYA:

"Do a second pass!"

JAMIE:

I'm leaving the podcast already.

JESSE:

"Really bad!"

NEDA:

No, it was awesome, I was just trying not to scream.

 

[falling synthesizer notes]

MEGHAN:

Most of this campaign is in D&D 5th Edition, but to determine what happened to each of the characters in the ten years between the Battle of Horizon Fall and the beginning of our campaign, we played a game I created called The Last Ten Years. It was inspired by The Quiet Year by Avery Alder, which is a fantastic worldbuilding game and which we also actually played off-air to create a loose basis for what ended up being this world. So in the show, we'll be flashing back to clips from our Last Ten Years games just throughout the series.

 

So in The Last Ten Years, the DM has one-on-one sessions with each player. Players arrive to these sessions with four adjectives that they've come up with to summarize their character, and then the one-on-one sessions begin with each player describing to me what role they played in the final battle. And whatever they say goes, so if they say, like, "I cut off the enemy's tail", well, now we know it had a tail. Players then rolled two d20s: one to represent how well they objectively performed in that battle, how much they contributed to the victory; and one to represent how they FELT they did. So then, the players randomly drew ten tarot cards, one by one. Each card represents a significant event that happened that year, and it's up to the player to determine how that prompt associated with the card fit into their story. If a character drew a face card, called a "major arcana" card in the tarot, they had to discard one of their adjectives and replace it with a new, more fitting one. At the end of the ten years, they also got to add a fifth adjective. Occasionally, the cards prompted players to invite another player in for a scene, but for the most part the players had total agency about what to share with the rest of the party about the events of their last ten years and what they wanted to keep to themselves.

 

[sweeping music transition]

 

[glowing ambient music]

MEGHAN:

We open our saga in Dawnlight, the home of Saint Simone's Adventuring Guild. Dawnlight is the furthest northeast town on this continent, and its landscape is densely wooded with snow on the ground much of the year. Dawnlight got its name because being so far east, it's one of the first places to see the sun each day. And just like the rising sun, it is a beacon of hope for many, not only because of the general sense of protection and insight that the adventurers of Saint Simone's have to offer, but also because it was this very adventuring guild that produced the heroes who saved the world a decade ago at the fateful Battle of Horizon Fall. The battle between the young heroes and the unspeakably evil Dreadnought was long and bloody, and victory would not have been possible if the leader of the party, the elven paladin Khiron Omaralei, had not sacrificed her life to ensure the Dreadnought's demise. It is now the tenth anniversary of the Battle of Horizon Fall, and we see Dawnlight and Saint Simone's bustling in preparation for a great celebration-- a grand reunion.

 

[music fades]

MEGHAN:

At this point, I'm going to say let's like, chat about what you guys want to be doing. I'm basing this vaguely on the fucking high school reunion that I had to plan when I was an event planner. [laughs] So I think that it's like at least a day-long thing. I think you all would have come in from out of town. I don't think any of you would have already been here, if I remember correctly. So you would have come in from out of town. There's an inn in the town where I'm assuming you might be staying unless you have other ideas. There's also like dormitories in the adventuring guild and I'm sure that they would put you up there if you wanted to, but I think the inn is probably nicer. There's, you know, the usual town things, there's a tavern, there's a blacksmith, and lots of different little shops and things. And then on the campus of the adventuring guild, the early part of the day, is-- there's going to be some sort of like craft fair, artisan like... showcase thing, I thought maybe Winswip, you might want to be there with your jewelry, but it's up to you.

WINSWIP:

Yeah, sounds good.

MEGHAN:

I think at some point there's going to be-- in the middle of the day-- like, some sort of career day for like, the youths, which are like... [laughs] Some, if not all of you, have been invited to speak about, you know, what it is you do, and I feel like Esther in particular would probably be there to talk about business. [laughs]

ESTHER:

Business.

MEGHAN:

Those were the two main ideas I had about where people might be, but if you guys have any ideas about what you might do in the day leading up-- there's-- basically, you're not needed for anything until like, dinnertime, when there's like, an official dinner that you're all going to, and then afterwards there's a dedication ceremony of this memorial.

PHIL:

Yeah. I think Kit would actually also be at the recruitment fair--

MEGHAN:

Okay.

PHIL:

--but I guess part of the reason would be that he just opened up this training facility, and there's still spots. It's not a very populated place that he's from, and so like, one of his ideas was like, "let's recruit people from the other side of the world who might be interested, let's open up what we're doing."So, he's looking for like, intrepid young people to like... Come and learn how to hit people with sticks! It's super fun, I promise.

MEGHAN:

Alright! We see out on the lawn of this expansive campus-- it's sort of a quad-- I say campus more in the sense of like, the Google campus, more than like, a school campus-- but, we see a bunch of folding chairs set up, none of them match, and some of them are not folding at all, but it's sort of thrown together. And on kind of like a makeshift stage we see a bunch of seated figures, and we see like, a little dais-- da-- dais-- die-is-- uh, a podium. [laughs]

JAMIE:

Dais... I think dais is right, I would say dais.

MEGHAN:

Amadeus. I'm a dais. Okay. We have a podium set up where seasoned-looking adventurers are taking turns regaling a gathered crowd of eager youths with tales of their derring-do. And above all of this is a hand-painted banner that says "CAREERS". Just "CAREERS".

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

So we see at the podium speaking right now a golden-haired man who looks very professional and rich. Jesse, would you like to introduce us to your character?

JESSE:

My character is a 26-year-old man named Esther Mifiance. He is a human sorceror. Definitely a golden boy in every sense of the word. He comes from a very well-off family that is a large collection of entrepreneurs. Definitely not as extreme as, say, the family from Succession, or Wall Street, but pretty close-- in that sort of world. Esther has sort of been in every type of relationship to this family in terms of like, where he falls in the hierarchy, and I would say at this current moment he's in a pretty, like, uh... Can we swear on this podcast?

MEGHAN:

Fuck yeah.

JESSE:

--fuck them, sort of moment, and arguably that is him in his best position with the family, not giving a fuck. So Esther is standing there, I think he's wearing like, a black T-shirt, like a button-up that goes right up to here. He has some like, gold stupid chain like, wrapped around his neck, and a long white coat that's draping down, all just like, placed very perfectly on him. And I think he's just like, staring at the entire audience, dead silent, and he's just like, taking the time to like make eye contact with like, every single one of the students.

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

We're like keeping Six Sigma alive in the new age.

 

[laughter]

JESSE:

Yeah. So he's like looking down the line, and then when he gets to the last one, he's just like, looking at them, and after a moment, says,

 

[pulsating spacey music swells]

ESTHER:

Are you uncomfortable?

 

[laughter]

 

Good. You should be uncomfortable. Life is uncomfortable. It doesn't get comfortable. And the second you realize that, the second you become comfortable in the uncomfortable, your career begins. The career is not a 9 to 5, or a 10 to 6, or an 8 am to a 9 pm, it is the way you wake up and it is the way that you go to sleep. Are there any questions? There should be!

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

Yeah, a young centaur that's kind of like awkwardly... not really sitting in the folding chair because it's not really conducive to like, a horse bod, just kind of like draped over it, raises her hand, and she's like,

CENTAUR:

"What about, um, like, a 7 to 3?"

 

[laughter]

ESTHER:

I'm gonna be honest. Some of you won't make it far.

 

[laughter]

 

Some of you are still--

 

[laughter]

ESTHER:

--latching on to the wrong aspects. Although-- what is your name? Uh, madam? Miss? Sir?

CENTAUR:

Um... Daphne.

ESTHER:

Daphne. What I do like, Daphne, is if you have the goal for a 7 to 3, you make your life a 7 to 3, and that-- that's impressive. But-- but the point is not what time frame you're adhering to, the point is what time frame are you operating at your best self. Does that make sense?

CENTAUR:

Um, yes, thank you, thank you Mr. Mifiance. Um, I'm a big fan.

ESTHER:

Excellent, excellent. Daphne, I'm a fan of you.

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

And you see like, a dwarf kid raise his hand.

DWARF:

This is more of a comment than a question.

 

[laughter]

JESSE:

Fuck!

JAMIE:

Nooo!

DWARF:

I just wanna say that I, um, I read your book, and... there were some things in there [sighs]... that really made me... think... Thank you.

 

[laughter]

ESTHER:

You are so welcome and now I look forward to reading your book and for us to think together. Now, I have decided that there will be no more questions in this sort of environment, but I will be around the area. I would love for more of these conversations, more of this engagement, if you have more wanderings please do come find me about the grounds. Thank you all so much for coming out and listening to me. I wish you all the best as you leave this stage of your lives, and with that note, I am now going to leave THIS stage of my life.

JESSE:

But I just, I want to say that I think that as Esther is like, walking off the stage, there was like a podium that he was gripping, and if you like, inspected that podium you would just see the biggest glob of sweat where his hands were. And he like, is walking off, and he's just walking so slowly, just trying to be so like calm and composed as he's like, walking off the stage, but totally with like shaking-- trying desperately to like keep his legs from shaking, but is still just like, holding eye contact with everyone and is just like,

ESTHER:

Thank you. Thank you. Th-thank you. Thanks so much. I'll see you at the next one.

MEGHAN:

And as you shakily kind of saunter off the stage, you see a great hulking lion of a man, and I mean that literally because he's like a lion, a leonine-type dude, in kind of a shabby burgundy suit, step up to the podium and he's like,

LION:

Well, thank you Esther, that was fantastic, and ah, you know, not to be tootin' our own horn but of course, this is the tenth anniversary and we've got some amazing guests. We have not one, but two, of the legendary heroes with us today. And it's a tough act to follow but I know you can do it, man. Kit, take it away!

MEGHAN:

And Kit, you step up to a very sweaty podium. Phil, do you want to tell us about your character?

PHIL:

Sure, um, I am Kit Marpola. I am a water genasi monk, I am about 30 years old, and I'm from--not around here, I'm from further south, from the southern islands. And I'm part of an order of monks called the Order of Kaltubig. So I guess I've spent the last ten years just sort of back at the monastery doing all sorts of monk things. I've opened sort of a different, satellite monastery, and I'm looking for new recruits. So um, I walk up to the podium, I see the sweat, and it's like-- I guess that makes sense, he sort of says to himself, but that's weird. And he looks at everybody in the audience, and he goes,

KIT:

Uhh... Well... That was uhh... That was really... interesting. Um, how many of you feel kind of, um... angry, after hearing that talk? Feel a little, uhh... A little rage?

MEGHAN:

Give me, uh, just a persuasion roll.

PHIL:

Oh gosh.

NEDA:

First roll of the campaign!

ALL:

First roll, first roll.

PHIL:

So I'm actually going to expend one of my charges on my magical item for this roll.

JESSE:

Oh my god.

MEGHAN:

Oh yeah, tell us about your magical item.

PHIL:

So Kit has this amulet that he wears on a necklace that's called the Smoldering Tear. It's made out of obsidian, and it has charges. And whenever I make a charisma check, like persuasion or intimidation, I can grant one charge to give myself advantage, and that's great because I have -1 charisma. Yeah... So this is persuasion, you said?

MEGHAN:

Mm-hmm.

PHIL:

Okay, come on.

 

[rolls]

 

12.

MEGHAN:

You ask whether they are angry, and you see just a sea of faces kind of like, confused. A bunch of people are turning to their friends to whisper, like-- [imitates gossiping] like, giggling-- it's very like... your worst day in the school cafeteria.

KIT:

Okay, that's um... So maybe not all of you are really hyped up about this, but what if I told you that there was uhh... an alternative? Another way to live, you know? It would be great if you guys came and joined us monks. We live a nice, communal lifestyle on a volcano, it's great, and-- now that sounds really peaceful and stuff, but the reason I asked you about your anger is uhh... you know, maybe you like hitting things. Maybe you like hitting things with sticks. And we can help you with that. We have a long tradition of channeling our feelings and our anger, uh, into, uh, productive, defensive, uh, helpful means. So uh, yeah, come talk to me afterwards, I'll be over by the um... drink tent, I guess? Hope you all are going to have a good time! Uh... Bye now!

AUDIENCE MEMBER:

Is it a 9 to 5?

 

[laughter]

KIT:

It's uh... You can... You give the time that you want to give and you uh... You reap the benefits that you need. That's the kind of uh... That's the kind of place it is. But actually we do wake up at dawn.

MEGHAN:

At that, you hear a couple of kids go "boo!" You see the lion man step up and he says uh-- he kind of claps you on the back with like a big paw, and he goes like,

LION:

Ah ha ha! Thanks there, Kit! That was fantastic! Well, kids, like the man said, drink tent if you want to hear about hitting things with sticks on a volcano! Sounds like a good time to me! And with that, our career presentation has come to an end. I want to thank all of you for coming, and I want to encourage everybody to check out the craft fair, which is still going on the south lawn. You take care now!

MEGHAN:

And with that, the kids disperse in a crowd of like laughter, and some of them are kind of pointing and laughing at various of you, not just the two of you, there were a few other people there.

JESSE:

But mostly us. Esther just definitely stuck around for Kit's presentation. I think very much standing in the wings, watching it happen.

NEDA:

Ah, precious.

JESSE:

Is Kit-- Did Kit leave quickly, or is he...

PHIL:

I think Kit's really confused, um, about what's going on with Esther, because of the last conversation that we had. And I think Kit's not feeling very confrontational, so I think he sort of gives you a look, like..."what? what was that?" and goes off to the drink tent.

MEGHAN:

Okay. Esther you see Kit kind of look at you weirdly and then hurry away, and just as you're about to figure out, well, you know, "do I follow or not", you feel like a gentle hand on your shoulder and you look over and you see it is your old friend Porla. And she says,

PORLA:

Hey! It's been a while! That was a great talk Esther!

ESTHER:

P-porla.... H-h-hi... H-h-how are you?

PORLA:

Oh, you know.

MEGHAN:

She's always been kind of like, unassuming, but you remember when you guys were in this adventuring party like ten years ago-- and you haven't seen her since then-- she was the cleric, she was always very sweet, and she had like, just tons and tons and tons of this big curly hair that she would wear in pigtails. And it's like very short now, it's kind of in like, more of like a pouf. But otherwise, she doesn't look that much older and she looks maybe a little bit-- hmm-- give me a... perception check.

JESSE:

A 21.

MEGHAN:

Fuck yeah. So, you see with a 21 perception, um... You take a closer look at Porla, and you see like, yeah, she's kept it tight, like she doesn't look old, she's probably only like 30 or something. You see that, moreso than physical signs of age, she just seems like calmer. She was always kind of like a shaky, nervous person. Her voice just sounds a little bit steadier when she speaks to you and you notice that there might be a little bit of like a tiredness to her eyes. But otherwise it just feels like no time has passed at all. And she's like,

PORLA:

Wow, look at you, ha ha, wow big businessman huh! You're not like our little-- well, last time I saw you, you were a little bit shorter. But, you know, metaphorically, you felt a lot shorter, does that make sense?

ESTHER:

Well I-- Yeah, I mean, I think I was also failing horribly about the last time we saw each other. I don't think I was... doing much.

 

[sweeping music transition]

 

[falling synthesizer notes]

MEGHAN [FLASHBACK]:

So, the first thing we're going to do is figure out how the final battle went, without putting any judgment on it, just sort of like objectively like what was the tactic.

JESSE [FLASHBACK]:

So many of the spells that I have are just attack spells, and I picture it as like a very large baddie, so I think Esther got really close underneath it and just started sending every single fire spell that he had up at it. I don't think tactically at all thinking of like, I need to get somewhere that has cover or anything, just rushing right at it really.

MEGHAN:

Totally. Okay. So I'm going to have you roll a d20 now.

JESSE:

Okay. Ugh. It was almost an 18 and then it rolled over to a 2.

MEGHAN:

Okay, and then I'm going to have you roll it again.

JESSE:

A 17.

MEGHAN:

Okay, interesting. So the 2 represents how much you've actually contributed overall--

JESSE:

Oh my gosh!

MEGHAN:

--and the 17 represents how well you think you did, or like how good you feel about how you did.

JESSE:

Oh boy.

MEGHAN:

[laughs] So this is interesting already.

JESSE:

Yes, it really is. Okay. I feel like that represents that every spell I was doing was just aggravating this baddie more, and I think maybe the beast was actually a more intellectual fight than Esther realized. And maybe it was even like I was giving this baddie more power by like sending energy at it, it was able to like absorb it, and that so clearly just shooting spells at it was not the way that this thing was going to be defeated. You know, whatever its Achilles heel, wasn't just "let's hurt it a bunch".

MEGHAN:

Does Esther realize that?

JESSE:

No, I don't think Esther's even like capable of really realizing that there's another way to fight.

MEGHAN:

Because it's like, for a 17-- I guess you could interpret it either, you think you contributed like 17 out of 20, or you know you contributed almost nothing but you're like super at peace with it. And like, forgave yourself immediately.

JESSE:

Ah, no, I think immediate shame. Esther was like, "I just couldn't think of anything else to do." I think it would be accepting of myself moreso, but I think in way that's sort of like, "I was never going to win that fight, I would have died if I didn't have the rest of the party". Yeah, I think the 17 is like, positively resigned.

 

[sweeping music transition]

PORLA:

Oh, Esther, no, what do you mean?

ESTHER:

I just-- You know, the last time, it was uh-- I wasn't-- contributing as well as I could have, um... to our efforts.

PORLA:

Hey, listen, I mean... I, of all people, can't judge you for that. I mean, there's all so much more that we all could have done, right? But I guess things just sort of happened the way they happened, and... well, you know. Are you okay? I just... This weekend is kind of weird and hard for everyone, and I just wanted to say hi, and say I'm glad you're here, and make sure you're okay.

ESTHER:

Thanks! Yeah, uh-- yeah, I am okay! I'm-- I'm, you know, it's kinda like I'm doing really well in the world, you know, like I'd love for you to come visit me sometime. I think just, you know, being back here and in this place, it sort of feels like I'm fighting not being sixteen again, you know, it all just sort of stumbles back in to the door. But, uh--

PORLA:

Yeah.

ESTHER:

--uh, yeah, I'm good now, I'm really good, now, uh--

MEGHAN:

She kind of interrupts him, she goes,

PORLA:

Oh shit, um, I'm sorry! What time is it? Um,

MEGHAN:

She looks at her watch, and she's like,

PORLA:

Oh my god, it's 3 o'clock, fuck. Um, I have to go, uh, get the tent delivery, um--

ESTHER:

Oh-- are you organizing all of this?

PORLA:

Yeah.... Yeah I work here! I coordinate all the logistics and the events, and the um, budget, and the um, events, and like the ledgers and the money, and all of the goings-on and the adventuring rosters and the teams and the parties and just, you know, general, like, allocation stuff, logistics, um... So I have to go get the tents I'm sorry I'll see you later!

MEGHAN:

And she kind of like runs off.

ESTHER:

Oh, okay...

 

[funky percussive music fades in]

MEGHAN:

And with that, I'm going to say that our sort of metaphorical camera follows Porla as she dahes through the campus down to the south lawn, where we see a bustling crafts fair in progress. It's artisans from all over, it's kind of like a flea market meets an art show. There's sculptures, and handcrafted bows, and armor, and there's some paintings of varying quality, there's snacks and food set up. It's just kind of like a really dope fair, and there's kids running around, and their parents like, "Hey! Stop! Don't! Go get your face painted so I can go buy... guns." Um, there's--

 

[percussive music stops abruptly]

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

America, am I right?

MEGHAN:

There is a table of guns, they're like cool fantasy guns, they're not like, um--

JAMIE:

Table full of guns.

MEGHAN:

There's just one, and it's in the corner and it's very well supervised.

MAYA:

There's just one gun.

JAMIE:

It's a table full of one gun.

MEGHAN:

Line up, everyone, and take turns holding the gun! It's the only gun we have! And for another gold piece, you can get your photograph etched of you with the firearm!

JESSE:

It's just like a very old-school musket.

 

[laughter]

 

[funky percussive music resumes]

MEGHAN:

We see as Porla rushes through this hubbub of people past them to like a gate, where there's a bunch of people with a bunch of disassembled tents waiting angrily. We zoom in on one particular stall covered in really beautiful handcrafted jewelry. And at this stand, is sitting-- Well, I'll let you tell it-- I'll let you tell it, Maya, tell us about your character.

 

[music ends]

MAYA:

Yeah. You see a small figure, just a little bit over four feet tall, with powder blue skin. She would be pretty short for other air genasis, but she's rather tall for a gnome, because she is both. She's half gnome, half air genasi.

MEGHAN:

She's a ge-gnomesy. She's a ge-gnomesy. I'm going to make it happen, I swear.

 

[laughter]

MAYA:

So, she has a heart-shaped face, with some features that may hint at some ancient East Asian ancestry, and a small patch of silvery freckles across her nose, which is evident when she smiles.

MEGHAN:

Ooh.

MAYA:

And her eyes are also, likewise, kind of a silver. She has short hair, kind of like perm curls just down to her chin, that is a bright pastel cotton candy pink, and currently interwoven with like, little silver star things. Secrets: she actually has white silver hair. [laughs]

MEGHAN:

No one can know.

MAYA:

Big reveal. But, yeah, she keeps it pink, it's her thing, it's her brand. You can't really see it behind the stall unless you come around behind, but she does have a brace on her left knee. And her stand is kind of laden with mostly necklaces, and bracelets, and amulets, and they're all kind of the basic metal-working, and fitted with gems of various bright colors: blue and green and red. She stands herself-- she's kind of about a foot over her own stall, so she's just looking up as people pass by, trying to make eye contact to the best of her ability. She could maybe use a few lessons from Esther though. [laughs] And she's like,

WINSWIP:

Uh... Jewelry, I'm selling jewelry... Over here, if you want... Um... If you like jewels-- I-- Um, over here, I'm selling it, if you want.

MEGHAN:

What's Winswip's business called?

MAYA:

I think she would call it Butterfly Treats, because she likes the Aspiration god, who is in the form of a butterfly.

MEGHAN:

Butterfly Treats, I love it! So you see like a very like... posh-looking mom with like "can I speak to your manager" hair and like a cool purse walk by, and kind of take an eye at your jewelry and say,

MOM:

Um, this is interesting, what does this do?

WINSWIP:

Oh this, this necklace?

MOM:

Yeah, what does it do?

WINSWIP:

Oh, ah, you put it-- you put it on your neck, and it-- it accents your outfit really nicely, I think, what you're wearing right now? I think it would go really-- because you've got that blue, and this is also, um-- it's a different blue? And I think it would look really nice with what you got.

MOM:

It doesn't like, enhance my armor class, or give me like, advantage on anything, it's just, uh...

WINSWIP:

Oh, um, no no, that's enchanting, that's a very-- that's an entirely different skill set. This is the original craft of jewelry-making, that I have learned by myself mostly, and actually, um--

MOM:

Did you just call me Leslie?

WINSWIP:

No no no no no no no, I said, actually, I learned it by myself, um, sorry, I--

MOM:

Okay, because my name is Leslie, and I was like, how do you know who I am?

WINSWIP:

Oh, well, actually, it's a-- maybe I-- it's a funny story, my mother is a divination wizard so maybe I-- maybe I just-- divined that, just now? I don't know.

MOM:

Your mother is a divination wizard and you make jewelry, woooowwww....

 

[laughter]

MOM:

Well, you know what, listen, I've got to go watch my child, Tinsley, sing in the choir festival performance.

WINSWIP:

That's a beautiful name.

MOM:

Thank you, their father picked it out and I wasn't sure at first, but you know, it is what it is. So I will go check that out and we will maybe hit you up on the way back for a purely aesthetic situation accessory.

WINSWIP:

That would be so great. I'm Winswip, by the way.

MOM:

You're Wins-- Like, THE Winswip?!

WINSWIP:

I mean, there aren't really a lot of us with that name, so yeah, probably the one you're thinking of.

MOM:

My gods... You-- You know I saw the hair, I thought, you know, uh, maybe what the kids are calling cosplay, I've seen a few really good costumes around here. Wow, Winswip, the Winswip Pom. Well listen, it is an honor to meet you, and um--

WINSWIP:

Yes, you too... Leslie? [laughs] Thank you for stopping by my craft store, I hope to see you later.

MOM:

Listen, good luck, sweetie! Best of luck, best of luck to you and your bracelets. I really must go, goodbye.

WINSWIP:

Okay.

MEGHAN:

She kind of hurries off and she looks at you a little bit pityingly.

WINSWIP:

Okay. I'm going to pretend I didn't see that. Um...

MAYA

She just kind of ducks her head around and like looks up with another smile, hoping to catch someone else's eye.

MEGHAN:

And the first eye that you catch is actually a pretty familiar eye-- it is the eye of somebody that you know quite well, or that you used to know quite well. Jamie, would you introduce your character for us?

JAMIE:

Yeah, okay. So I think Winswip looks up and her eye is caught by what appears to be just a large amount of fire, maybe not super safe, and then the kind of initial spark of it kind of fades, and you see your old friend Aveline Javri Skywatcher, blowing some glass, which is not a thing that you knew that she could do. Aveline is pretty tall. Mechanically, she is a Kalashtar, which is a race from Eberron, which basically means she's a human with some kind of celestial spirit sort of stuff going on. She has fairly long kind of unruly red hair in a sort of loose braid with an undercut on one side. And there is a tiny antelope made of fire prancing around the glassblowing stool.

MEGHAN:

I'm sorry, what is it? Because I heard antelope and I feel like that's not what we discussed.

JAMIE:

Well... [laughs] I was getting to that, Meghan! Addie, short for Admonition, who is, of course, the great two-horned horse, um... Addie is a dik-dik.

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

Which is a tiny antelope, she is a dik-dik made of fire, um... D-I-K, D-I-K, um...

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

And Winswip probably was actually making eye contact with Addie, because Addie is about three feet tall, Aveline is like, 6' 1", so, um... Yeah, they're out there, blowing some glass, not selling anything, just kind of using fire magic to make some stuff look cool. And I think there are probably quite a lot of kids being like, "Oh my gosh look at this tiny antelope!" And Aveline is like, "he he, it's a dik-dik."

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

Is Addie hot to the touch, like can kids pet her? Wait, is Addie she/her?

JAMIE:

I mean, Addie is an animal, so I don't know that animals have like a concept of gender the same way that humans do, but as a kind of elemental wildfire spirit that can be summoned, I think she/her pronouns are fine.

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

What color fire was the forest at the gender reveal party for Addie?

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

Kind of orangey-yellow but like with tints of blue at the center, because that's what fire looks like when it's really cold-- when it's really hot, even. I know how science works.

MEGHAN:

It's our world, baby, we can do whatever we want!

JAMIE:

I think that Addie is hot to the touch, so there's a lot of like,

AVELINE:

"No, I know she's cute but don't pet her-- that will-- I'm sorry ma'am your child is trying to touch my familiar, she is literally made of fire, um, so maybe just don't-- ah! stop!"

MEGHAN:

I think we see a bunch of kids trying to figure out ways to like pet her without touching her. So we see like, a little like-- a little precocious like mage kid with a wand making a mage hand to go pet her,

ALL:

Aww!

MEGHAN:

we see like a kid with just a long stick that's catching fire, like... And then maybe another kid sees her and puts a marshmallow on it and starts--

AVELINE:

Hey! Stop making s'mores on my familiar! Oh my gods.

 

[laughter]

MAYA:

I think that's got to be when Winswip looks up.

JAMIE:

Yeah.

MAYA:

Just after you said "s'mores on my familiar".

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

That's definitely a phrase that you've heard before, probably, because when we were kids we did that. And it's like, if you're in the party, you can make s'mores on the familiar; if you're a random kid on the street, you don't get to stick a marshmallow into my dik-dik.

 

[laughter]

NEDA:

That's it, that's a wrap on episode one.

MEGHAN:

Wow, I can't wait to sell those T-shirts on our website.

PHIL:

Oh my god this merch is going to be such fire, holy shit.

 

[laughter]

MAYA:

No those are good boundaries to have, I think.

MEGHAN:

Oh god. So Winswip, you hear this commotion going on. What do you do?

MAYA:

She kind of looks up, and as said, just looks directly at Addie the familiar, and then her eyes just light up and then travel upwards to see the rest of Aveline, and she just goes,

WINSWIP:

[gasps] Aveline! Aveline, you're here! Oh! Oh god, oh goodness!

MAYA:

And just tries-- and just comes out from around her store and hurries across the way to get to you, and she's not moving as fast as you might expect, but she's going, and just catches up with you and just is like,

WINSWIP:

How are you here? What are you doing? Oh my god! Is that glass, are you blowing glass? When did you learn that? Hi! Hi! I've missed you!

JAMIE:

Aveline, I think, drops the glassblowing tool and is like,

AVELINE:

Ah, shit, no, I shattered the vase. Um... Winswip!

>WINSWIP:

That was my fault, that was my fault, I'm so sorry, I just, I'm so excited!

AVELINE:

No, it was--

MEGHAN:

You hear the kids go, "Hey! Free broken glass pieces!"

 

[laughter]

AVELINE:

Yeah, okay, you can take the broken glass if you stop sticking marshmallows in my familiar. Winswip! Yeah! How are you-- how are you doing? How have the last ten years been? You look good, the--

WINSWIP:

Wow yeah, just, whoa, time, that's uh... it's wild when you just put it out there, ten whole years, yeah... My goodness... I'm-- I'm doing great, I'm doing great and I'm-- I'm selling jewelry! I'm also-- I learned how to make some fun crafts, and I'm doing-- How are you? How are you?

JAMIE:

Aveline is like really awkardly like twirling the hair at the end of her braid, and is like,

AVELINE:

I'm, you know, the usual, learned to blow glass, my familiar settled into one form--

JAMIE:

And you remember that when we were younger, Addie like sometimes changed into different animals and doesn't seem to be doing that anymore.

WINSWIP:

Ah, so this is the one, this is the one!

JAMIE:

Yeah, and then kind of awkwardly sort of like-- It's quite easy to not make eye contact when you're fully like three feet taller than someone, so I think Aveline is sort of staring at the top of Winswip's head, and is like,

AVELINE:

Yeah, you know, familiar settled in a form, learned glassblowing, bit of a crisis of faith, and um, new gender identity, um, I use she/they pronouns now, so that's a thing, yeah, um--

WINSWIP:

Oh!

 

[sweeping music transition]

 

[falling synthesizer notes]

MEGHAN [FLASHBACK]:

Ninth card.

JAMIE [FLASHBACK]:

[laughs]

MEGHAN:

What did you get?

JAMIE:

It's the Tower.

MEGHAN:

Oh, the Tower. Okay, this one's pretty open-ended actually. So, the way I had this as a prompt is: a fundamental truth about a character turns out to be false, or something unexpected comes to the surface. So like, this could indicate a character realizing things about their identity, or learning truths about their friends and family, or rethinking religion, which of course we've already done a lot of, or like a breakup, or whatever. So, it's not that different than the actual meaning of the card.

JAMIE:

Maybe this is when Aveline starts using they pronouns as well as she pronouns. Maybe this is like a gender identity moment.

MEGHAN:

Aww, I love that. So I suppose like canonically then, this would be something that Aveline would have to introduce to the others who would've probably just known them as she/her, right?

JAMIE:

Yeah. To be like, as a, you know, sixteen, seventeen year old, she was like, "I'm cis, I'm like... probably reasonably straight", and then she has this like, "Huh, gender isn't a binary!"

MEGHAN:

There you go. I love that. At age like...

JAMIE:

Twenty-six?

MEGHAN:

That seems like a reasonable age for that.

JAMIE:

Yeah. I was very worried that was going to be like, someone in your life dies, or like a huge thing, but... Yeah, the Tower can be like a catalyst for good stuff.

MEGHAN:

It's just a big old change.

JAMIE:

I just drew another major arcana card, so I have to-- All four of my adjectives will be changed by the end of this.

MEGHAN:

You can change one you've already changed.

JAMIE:

Ooh, okay.

MEGHAN:

So like, you can keep the last remaining original one and change like another one again.

JAMIE:

With the Tower, I'm going to change "chaotic". [laughs] Slightly less chaotic. I'm changing "chaotic" to "experimental".

MEGHAN:

I like it. It's like one tier down.

JAMIE:

Yeah.

 

[sweeping music transition]

AVELINE:

Yeah, you know, just... Ten years. Normal, normal stuff.

WINSWIP:

That sounds like an AMAZING ten years! What are you talking about, normal? That sounds wonderful! This is all like really-- really great and cool stuff! Can I-- I know you were just telling those kids off, but can I just feed Addie a marshmallow for old times' sake?

JAMIE:

I reach into the like pocket of glassblowing tools-- I've got one of those like carpenter's belts with like all the pockets for like little files and tiny hammers, and there is definitely a flap, and I lift up the flap and it just has mini marshmallows in it and I just hand one to Winswip like,

AVELINE:

Yeah. She likes you, you can toast a marshmallow on her.

MAYA :

[laughs]

MEGHAN:

And Winswip, you notice that around Aveline's neck is a very cool piece of jewelry, and you tend to notice those things because you are all about jewelry. You see it looks like-- well, why don't you tell us what it looks like?

JAMIE:

It's not quite a full choker, but it's a kind of short chain round the sides of the neck and then at the front it's like the two tips of some antlers kind of joining together. So it's kind of like a choker or a collar, but there is a chain at the back so you could take it off. And it's-- It looks reasonably well-worn, and it looks like maybe it gives Aveline some spell-casting damage, um...

 

[laughter]

MAYA:

I know exactly what that means, what that looks like.

MEGHAN:

As we say in jeweler's jargon, it's a real +1 of a necklace.

 

[laughter]

JAMIE:

It's really giving off, yeah, spell-casting focus energy.

WINSWIP:

Aveline, that piece around your neck, it's-- it's beautiful! And it looks particularly powerful too. I have an eye for these things. Where did that come from? I mean, you don't have to answer, I just-- I'm so curious, I just...

AVELINE:

About seven years ago, I was kind of traveling and wandering, and a cool hermit helped me-- showed me how to make jewelry, you know, as hermits do...

 

[laughter]

WINSWIP:

That's been my experience with hermits, yes.

AVELINE:

Is that how you learned how to make jewelry as well, you met a hermit?

WINSWIP:

No, no, I kind of... Well, I was just agreeing with you, to, you know, um... No, I-- I kind of, um, taught myself over time, and also just like my neighbors. I'm from like a mountain city, and a lot of the other like gnomes there are old miners and crafters, and so I kind of-- I learned, picked up a little bit here and there, but-- experimented, did my own thing. But I don't make anything like that, so that's really-- that's really good, what you've got there.

AVELINE:

I mean, it was mostly Herman the Hermit who made this, I kind of just--

WINSWIP:

Wow, his name was Herman? That's-- wow, that's so--

AVELINE:

Well that's-- He didn't really have a name, because, you know, as a hermit he didn't really speak a lot, so I kind of just started calling him Herman, because it-- And he didn't ever really say no, so... Yeah, good old Hermie. I found this antler that was kind of maybe kind of a gift from my god. You know, Admonition, the two-horned horse--

WINSWIP:

Oh, wow.

AVELINE:

--and I know that you have the butterfly. Hating religion gang, ha ha!

 

[laughter]

WINSWIP:

Yeah, there's no competition or anything, it's--

AVELINE:

Yeah.

WINSWIP:

I mean, I think that's cool, like... That's amazing, you had an actual contact with your god, that's--

AVELINE:

Yeah, it was interesting, and now I-- yeah, now I have this necklace. Do you want to go get a drink, maybe?

 

[funky percussive music fades in]

WINSWIP:

Oh, yes, absol-- Well, I-- technically, I'm, uh, running-- I'm trying to sell, um, my jewelry--I-- I'll close it down, I'm not getting a lot of bites-- Yeah, I'll go, I'll close it down and we'll go get a drink, okay, yeah.

JAMIE :

And I think we walk towards probably the same drinks tent that Kit was heading to from a different direction.

MEGHAN:

Incredible. So, we sort of zoom out as Winswip and Aveline are making their way to the drinks tent, and we shift focus into town.

 

[percussive music fades]

 

There's a small village not too far away from the adventuring guild, and we zoom in on a house and we go into the window like fucking creepers. And there we see a figure. Neda, will you introduce us to your character.

NEDA:

Yeah, we see a dark figure in the corner-- No, we see this very small figure. She is about three feet eleven, she has very pale skin, and just a lot of very dark freckles, it's like black and white, it's a lot of just many freckles. She has dark hair, it's short, kind of looks like she has never seen an actual hairdresser and it's just when it gets too long it just gets snipped off. My character's name is Noriah. She is a lightfoot halfling. All of you remember her as a rogue. She still has some of that going on, but she looks like she may or may not have some magic on her as well. She is currently loitering in her older brother's house, very much, you know, eating his snacks, using his bougie soaps, all of that, actively not at any of the events that are happening.

MEGHAN:

What are you doing to prepare for this evening? Or are you planning on going?

NEDA:

Oh, yeah, I'm going. I'm going. I-- Noriah has-- She looks so cool, like first of all you have to understand she's extremely chill about everything that's happening and doesn't care at all. She is, as we zoom out into this like living room that she's turned into her like place to stay, because she doesn't want to stay in her brother's bedroom, that's weird, so she's on a couch and we zoom out and there's just a pile of clothing around her. There's like a little suitcase and just so many clothes, because you want to show up to the reunion looking cool and grown up, but no one has to know that you tried really hard to look cool and grown up. So I think she's just holding up a bunch of different like nice-looking blouses and things, and just progressively getting more and more stressed out about it. And I think it's just a lot of that, I think we've spiraled so far down that until it's time to be out the door, we're going to be changing outfits. In a very cool and chill way and we're not stressed out about it at all!

MEGHAN:

As you are in a frenzy, switching between a sweater, and a dress, and a sweater-dress, you hear an aggressive pounding at the door.

NORIAH:

Ah, shit. I....

NEDA:

Tripping over a pair of pants that I'm pulling on, because we don't want to be nude, I rush over and I can't reach the peephole so I'm just going to swing the door open.

NORIAH:

Hello?

MEGHAN:

You swing the door open, and mid-aggressive knock, you see a familiar-- There's a lot of-- "You see a familiar face!" is the tagline of the show. You see a familiar face who is just, just ever-so-slightly taller than you, and it is your old party-mate, Brekx. And you hear them go,

BREKX:

Oi! I thought you'd be here.

NORIAH:

Um, hi? Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, hello, hi. Do you want to-- Ah, you look so old--

BREKX:

Thanks.

NORIAH:

--and different, and grown up. Do you want to-- uh, do you want to come in? I'm kind of, I'm kind of in the middle of something, do you want to come in?

BREKX:

Yeah, let's um, let's rehearse what you're gonna say to people, because "you look so old" is not, uh, probably the best thing to say to people. It's fine. Let's go in. How you been?

MEGHAN:

And they give you a hug.

NEDA:

Yeah, I give them like a very heartfelt hug.

NORIAH:

Um, how's the party-- like, the fair, party, craft situation thing going?

BREKX:

Oh I'm not fucking going to it.

 

[laughter]

NORIAH:

Oh good. Good. Do you want coffee, I have like a whole-- I have so much coffee.

BREKX:

Oh fuck yeah.

MEGHAN:

And um, he shuts the door. Brekx uses he/they pronouns and is a goblin, and is dressed much the same as you remember him: kind of crazy black hair, and like a big huge black fur coat that looks fucking disgusting, even more-- it's probably the same one you remember, it's matted, and gross, and there's probably--

NEDA:

I love them so much.

MEGHAN:

--blood on it. And then the rest of the outfit is like excessive like Final Fantasy Tetsuya Nomura belts and like tiddies out.

 

[laughter]

NEDA:

Noriah gives them a hug. And anyone else, or like, people who don't know Brekx, would probably recoil. Noriah like squeezes this horrible jacket as if it's like the nicest comfort item of all time, it's just like, oh yeah it's matted and gross, oh, it's perfect.

MEGHAN:

Yeah, um, they hug you back and go:

BREKX:

See, you always were good at hugs, you just didn't like to give 'em out.

NORIAH:

Yeah.

BREKX:

So, uh, coffee? Um...

NORIAH:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're-- I've made a lot of coffee, and... So, you're not going-- Are you going to the dinner thing-- situation-- thing?

BREKX:

Ah, well, I'm thinking about it, I wanted to see if you were gonna go?

NORIAH:

Are you asking me to be your plus one for this very fancy dinner?

BREKX:

No, fuck no, I just... I don't want to go, and I was hoping you wouldn't go either, and then...

NORIAH:

Uh, well... Yeah, I'm-- I wasn't thinking of going at all, I'm-- Do you know if there's a dress code?

BREKX:

Do I-- Do I look like I know if there's a dress code?

NORIAH:

I'm not asking if you're going to follow the dress code, I'm just asking if you know there-- if there-- Look I brought a sweater and I brought a sweater-dress and I'm not sure--

BREKX:

I don't know, uh...

NORIAH:

Do you know if everyone else is there, do you know if...

BREKX:

Have you talked to Porla at all?

NORIAH:

Um... I'm assuming she's at the thing, the career thing, she--

MEGHAN:

You would have gotten, I think, um, Noriah, you would have gotten like an invitation from her. Like you would have spoken to her.

NORIAH:

I-- We-- She made sure I showed up. But she set me up with a really nice room at the inn, and I said no thank you, and we haven't-- Is she okay?

BREKX:

Um, I don't know. We... aren't really talking at the moment, which is kind of why I didn't really want to go. But I guess I fuckin' have to, right, I mean, it's for Khiron, we gotta show up--

NORIAH:

Yeah, yeah, and I'm going, and you're coming with me, not as a plus one but just like you're coming with me, and what happened, why are you...

BREKX:

I don't-- Like, I don't really know? Um, we--

NORIAH:

Like are you-- Did you have a fight? Or are you just doing the thing where you didn't answer like a postcard for a very long time and now it's kind of awkward because it's been like years...?

BREKX:

No, ah... Look, I stayed here for a while, and I was pretty close with Porla for a while, and then a couple years ago I got an opportunity to go somewhere else and Porla didn't like that at all. Ah... She wanted me to stay here and help, I guess, prepare for this, to which I was like... It's like, two years away, I dont understand? I don't know, it's just... It's hard to describe what Porla's deal is unless you've seen it, so... maybe we should go.

NORIAH:

Yeah I... You're making very little sense, and I'm kind of worried, because I don't like it when our friends are fighting, and please help me pick a sweater dress.

NEDA:

And she just holds up like two barely, like-- they're completely identical dresses.

BREKX:

I forgot to bring my signs that have the numbers on 'em, but the one on the left is good.

NORIAH:

Okay, okay. I'm sorry if it's going to be awkward, I know a lot has happened. I haven't seen anyone. I kind of figured-- Well, in the little invite pamphlet, it promises that like Esther and Kit are like talking at this thing, and I'm-- I... considered going, and it sounded horrible so I didn't, and now I wish I had because now I'm just going to have to see everyone at dinner, and that's-- We got to go, right? Like, we have to.

BREKX:

Yeah... Yeah, we do. Alright, well, let's just suck it up and go then. Maybe there'll be lots of alcohol there.

NORIAH:

Do you want me to just, like...

NEDA:

And you see like a little spark of magic in her hand, and she's-- the way a mother would like offer like a baby wipe, just offering a little bit of prestidigitation, like,

NORIAH:

Do you want me to re-- I love the jacket, you know I do-- Do you want me to just... It doesn't smell great?

BREKX:

Yeah, alright, go ahead.

NEDA:

And there's just like a little swirl of magic. It's not excessive, it's not-- It's deoderant more than it is like a new scent.

PHIL:

It's Febreeze.

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

Like a Febreeze, like a magic Febreeze.

NEDA:

Just like a nice prestidigitated Febreeze situation.

BREKX:

Nice. Lavender. Ah, let's fuckin' go. [sighs]

MEGHAN:

And Brekx holds out their arm for you.

NEDA:

Very daintily, I place my little freckled hand in like the crook of their elbow. Like, very much making like a scene out of it, to like make them laugh I guess.

MEGHAN:

You guys are very-- You look like a wedding cake topper, although, um, if the groom was a gross nonbinary goblin, um, but I just mean in terms of--

NEDA:

Meghan, I'm right here!

JAMIE:

Are you talking about MY wedding?

 

[laughter]

MEGHAN:

Listen, when we talk about representation, this is what I mean. No, I'm just kidding.

 

[laughter]

NEDA:

Cancelled. Wow, an hour into this podcast and already we're cancelled.

JAMIE:

Neda and I are literally right here for gross goblin representation. I am recording this podcast sitting on the floor.

 

[theme music plays]

MEGHAN:

Well, hello there, it's me, Meghan, once again.

 

[theme music fades out]

 

I just wanted to end this episode by saying thank you so much for listening. We have been working our butts off for months now, and I cannot believe that you guys are finally hearing it. I'm so happy, and the only thing that would make me happier would be to hear what you think. So, let us know on Twitter at Quest Laid Plans, follow us, tell your friends, and what would be really, really amazing is if you could give us a five star rating on Apple Podcasts or whatever podcast app is your cup of tea, leave us a nice review if you like, that's another fantastic way to let us know that you care. And we also have a Patreon: that's Patreon dot com forward slash Quest Laid Plans, where we're going to be uploading a lot of awesome bonus content that we're really excited about as well. So that's a way to show us you care in money form. But really for new podcasts, it's so important for us to get those algorithm review rating things; I don't really understand it, but that's just sort of how it works. Thank you so, so much for listening once again, and we'll see you next time.

 

[theme music plays]

 

[end of episode]